Aroma – Sweet and pungent
Taste – Candy flossy, with extra sugary notes
Strength – Strong
Humidity – Almost perfect
Welcome, fellow chron-noisseurs and travelers. As a passionate weed smoker, I have been consuming cannabis flowers since around 1997 – namely rolling them in joints and smoking them from bongs of all shapes and sizes – and during those past 25 years my journey has led me to seek out the finest herb this Earth has to offer.
Since I moved to the state of California several years ago, grappling with legal cannabis has not been easy. I intend to use these articles not only to share my experiences of the flower I purchase and use, but also to attempt to help guide the everyday buyer to finding their perfect flower.
First and foremost, I am a strong believer that every person has a perfect type of flower that works for them, but finding that can often be a hard task, due to a market saturated with an alarming volume of hype and an overwhelming abundance of products.
The main things I look for, or ask the budtender will usually focus on how high THC content is, as that will determine the type of experience to expect, along with the packaging date and cultivation date which should be marked on the side of the jar or rear of the bag, which are good indicators of how fresh your flower will be. Finally, the smell and look are the determining factors which will swing me one way or another when I’m out shopping for something new and stimulating, or relaxing.
I usually steer clear of Sativa strains, mostly because I do not tend to smoke during the day, but if you are someone who enjoys that, I recommend, specifically as there are not many reliable flowers on the market, to look for those flowers with citrus, cheese and skunk smells. Tropicanna by Cannabiotix is one of the absolute best around, and fairly easy to find in most good dispensaries, and you’ll quickly find other reviewers agreeing that the experience it provides is euphoric and uplifting. Smoking it an hour or so before you eat lunch or dinner is great for boosting your appetite.
My main focus today and for most of these reviews will be Indica strains – hard-hitting, serious flowers with weight to them – because those are the ones which I find offer the most therapeutic qualities; from helping with sleep, to muscle relaxation through to inducing those more cerebral and heady experiences which I look for with flowers. This week, I am sampling a flower called Pink Elephantz, grown by The Jelly Co., one of the best collectives of weed artisans that I know of, and distributed by one of California’s premier labels, Teds Budz which usually has around five to ten intriguing new products at the top end of the market in terms of quality every other month or so.
Over the past couple of years, Teds Budz’ reputation has spread throughout the state like the fire from an ashtray full of scrunched up roaches, introducing us to the strangest flavors I have ever seen in the world of marijuana.
From the original Plum Mochi they dropped during the pandemic through to the bizarre flowers based on different fish dishes they produce, I have always swung back and forth on how good I thought their products were, due to the fact that it is a complete gamble on what each bag of flower will be like from one to the next.
One bag will leave you unimpressed, and wanting more, while another might knock you out cold after just a few tokes. It really does vary, and they have been slightly guilty like many brands out there of having little to no information for the consumer to consider when they make their purchase. At the prices they charge, around $60 depending on where you find it, that can often be a no-no for most buyers.
Like many others out there, I want an assurance of quality when I buy something, and that it will give the desired effects I am looking for. As someone with a relatively high tolerance who smokes on a daily basis, there aren’t a ton of things that line up with that demand for a flower which I won’t need to smoke a whole eighth of to enjoy.
Lately though they’ve been on point again, and Pink Elephantz is definitely a heavyweight that will “put you down” just as the description on the website claims. I particularly liked the artwork on the die-cut foil bag, which are often works of art in their own right. The buds are fat, healthy and frosty just the way I would expect, with hues of bright green and purple with smatterings of orange hairs which is exactly what we are looking for.
I wonder for a moment if it had any relation to the infamous Elephants 41 strain which the San Fernando Valley has become famous for, which goes for an alarming amount of money when you can find it.
Upon smoking it, I ponder this further, as I roll my first joint and inhale deeply. Pink is definitely a strong vibe I feel when I take a first hit, with bubblegum candy sweetness hitting my palate instantly. As I continue to smoke it, I feel a solid head high – but not the hazy or spacey variety – it’s a clear and focused feeling. This segued into a just-as-pleasing body high, and granted a good night’s sleep to say the least.
After the joint I made my way to take care of the weekend’s kitchen duties and found a happy, productive boost to the everyday chores I was carrying out. At one point, I placed a container with some delicious home-made chocolate chip cookies inside the cabinet in the space where the empty tupperwares are usually stored, so I know it was working!
Following a quick rinse with some rubbing alcohol and salt, I fired up another juicy nug in the bong, and it really was smooth sailing from there into writing the article you are now reading in front of you. I would highly recommend smoking some to unwind after a hard day’s work or just before bed, or whatever works for you.
At the end of things, I find that you usually get what you pay for with cannabis, and flowers especially, although my wife and I debate this often and price does not always determine quality. When you’re buying at the top end, you are going to get the luxury of those delicious terpenes and flavors that growers work hard to produce and are therefore equally high in demand from customers. At the lower end of the price scale, there are still plenty of great products to be found as long as you know what you’re looking for.
Dr. Strainlove is a long time lover of fine weed and is always hunting for the latest and greatest strains. His search has taken him from the Coffeeshops of Amsterdam to the boutique dispensaries of California, and lots of other places in between. He loves making music, playing video games, and using marijuana to ponder the mysteries of the universe. When he’s not doing those things, he enjoys spending time with his wife and cat.