Today I bring something different to the forum, smokers, a very special flower by the name of Boysenberry Cherries. It’s been a long time since I smoked anything by Ted’s Budz as I have been a little unsure of the quality of their products over the last few years, but this is a good reminder of why it is worth revisiting certain brands and growers from time to time.
The Gooniez first gained notoriety among the underground hype community for its flower named Raxxbert, which boldly flew in the face of copyright infringement law by featuring characters from Nintendo’s latest Animal Crossing game all sitting stoned and drunk outside of a bar. It also happened to be pretty hardcore and lived up to this massive hype. It was so highly sought after I could not even find a bag for two months after it dropped.
A San-Francisco based growing outfit, I believe Gooniez achieved the impossible by maintaining a certain level of quality which is unrivalled in the cannabis world, anywhere, by anyone. They have put out some incredible examples of what could be considered the finest flower I have ever smoked in my life, in the years surrounding the Pandemic: Dragon Trash, Secret Breakfast #26, Dino Duck, and of course, the unforgettable Purple Egg-Yolk Gelato Push-Pop. These were mostly variants on the famous Lemon Cherry Gelato strain, or LCG, which first grew in popularity around 2022.
This flower is dark, it’s dense, and it is maybe the most powerful I have tried. Just look at the pictures to see why. It’s reminiscent of the dark meteor-asteroid planet which threatens to decimate humanity and Earth in the movie The Fifth Element. You feel as though black goo might start to ooze from your head if you look at it for too long.
This is what most in the old days people refer to as “one-hitter quitter”, because it is so unusually stoney and sedative it will couch-lock you in the first quarter of an hour of using it. But it is not dissociative, and has the trademark focus and weight to it I have come to expect from this brand meaning it can also be used in the daytime, albeit in much smaller doses.
The Gooniez must also be given credit for their stunningly creative artwork, and this example is no exception, giving off intriguing Kubrick-esque vibes in its eerie depiction of some type of ghost or supernatural being bearing oddly Scottish-looking garb.
This weed really is like a fine vintage wine. You aren’t likely to find it very often. With lineage that is a cross between DJ Short’s Blueberry, an historic strain of weed, and Grape Pie, those of you who are familiar with my reviews know that I seek grape terpenes out most often as they tend to work best for the things I need them for – depression, anxiety, insomnia and pain relief.
The nose from Boysenberry Cherries smacks you straight in the face right as you open the jar showing off its notes of wet granite, almost like wet paint or cement drying, pastry and gasoline, exemplifying every hallmark of the finest weed. On breaking it apart, it reveals its true fragrance, which is more sweet and inviting, almost like marzipan.
Inhaling its aroma is like walking through a bakery and smelling different wonderful confections at different stages of their cooking process at once. It’s very difficult to describe the taste on the palate, as I’ve also been trying to give up smoking nicotine and tobacco recently, and this has left my taste buds slightly disoriented lately. It’s definitely full of cherry and blueberry goodness, but with a lot more going for it than just those simple terps.
I’m guessing one cannot really identify the flavors easily because genetics are kept very secret and close to the chest in the world of underground cannabis, due to the fact they are so heavily imitated once a product name catches on.
Smoking Boysenberry Cherries, is a similarly delightful experience, as is always a trip to Gooniez town, akin to a Michelin-starred chef who has created a special signature dish, only with cannabis I can’t think of anything else this good when it comes to weed. And it has the price tag to match, of course, which is the only downside that I can ultimately find to this bag of flowers.
The appearance of the weed is dark, like tar, almost evil looking, and looks to be almost freeze-dried at first glance. But on closer inspection, it is this incredibly dense texture which hints at the superb quality of this beautiful herb, which is perhaps perfect in almost every single way.
Every color of the weed spectrum is present, from dark purple hues all the way through to light and dark greens, some oranges. But it’s the really tightly packed nug structure which is the winning factor in how it looks and lets you really feel the quality of the weed in your fingers before you smoke it.
As for the effects, as one user reports, “this high is ridiculously long lasting”, and that’s where my next point of consideration comes in. Why does most of the great weed we are smoking today wear off within like an hour of smoking it? That really gets to me.
Boysenberry Cherries sits heads and shoulders above the rest here, and even the heaviest smoker will only need one or two hits to get them through the majority of an evening, no matter how long you’re staying up.
It feels like your brain is a gong, and this weed is the instrument which strikes that gong in the centre, hard, and you are left to sit with echoes and thoughts reverberating around you for some time afterward. Not something everybody will be looking for or enjoy, I know. Even for me, as the heaviest lover of MJ that I know, I don’t know if I always want to be this high. It has given me the odd rush of anxiety when I didn’t want it.
This is something that’s more for the connoisseur.
Even though this comes packaged in a mylar bag, which can be a no-no for some heads in the community, I love that The Gooniez always include a cheeky clear window at the bottom of their packaging, to let the buyer see the flower through the plastic. This lets me know they are assured enough of the visual appearance of the flower to speak for the quality of it, if you were not already familiar with the brand’s formidable underground reputation.
Clocking in at 30% THC content, this flower is the perfect end of the spectrum for strength for me, but is also its 0.49% CBD content which I love as well. I believe a higher CBD content to be very important in the best cannabis, as it helps relax, sleep and reduce my anxiety in a way that THC cannot always address.
Until next time, stay strong and stay true to yourselves.
Dr. StrainLove is a long time lover of fine weed and is always hunting for the latest and greatest strains. His search has taken him from the Coffeeshops of Amsterdam to the boutique dispensaries of California, and lots of other places in between. He loves making music, playing video games, and using marijuana to ponder the mysteries of the universe. When he’s not doing those things, he enjoys spending time with his cat.
