Pay attention smokers – today I am bringing one of the ultimate flowers on to your stoner radars, which I am very certain has flown under it for far too long.
For the uninitiated, Garlic Shrimp Girl is very different from other weed, definitely quite different from anything else by Ted’s or any other brand, and as a result it is sought after and hard to get hold of. I was turned onto it by another reviewer from the past, who described it as one of his favorites also. He was not wrong.
I have only tried this flower once before, around four years ago in 2021, and loved it so much that I am genuinely bewildered at why I have not come back to it again sooner. As mentioned in my previous review for Ted’s products, there have been too many other more interesting collaborations to try, it seemed, and too much product on offer to really be able to have a chance at trying more than one or two new strains in any given period of time.
With at least seven or eight new strains I can see dropping per month, or that’s the feeling you get from looking at the various dispo menus if you can find it at all, it can still feel like Ted is throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. But, sometimes it’s best to stick to what you know, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, etc. You have to know what you’re looking for with such a large variety of choice, in order not to be disappointed.
Where they have not always provided enough information on each flower for my liking, read none at all, the buying experience is now improving with the inclusion of tasting notes and background documentation on lineage, description of effects, if you look carefully enough on Weedmaps. There are still a large number of drops without any info on their listings though, and this is something I would like to see this be consistent across all the strains from Ted’s, and any other brand, which I suspect is another problem with having too many on the market.
Onto my analysis of the flower though, and why I like it so much.
For a start: the terps, the terps, the TERPS!
We are not worthy of such high grade weed – the minute you open this pack, far from smelling like some type of dried shrimp snack you might try in the Far East, your nose is greeted with the most pleasing aroma, combinations of ginger beer and, oddly enough, coca cola. Yes, there’s a little GMO in there too, but it’s not enough to really dominate which I like about it. Too many GMOs on today’s market are too garlicky and don’t really look outside of that box, not in the way this does. It could be kind of close to the Styrofoam Cup strain by Team Elite Genetics, if I had to give a comparison, but it’s still completely on a level of its own.
When you combine these unexpected and delicious ingredients so expertly into one new haute-cuisine dish, it creates a result like no other. The trim on this bud is perfect. It’s not too dry either, the humidity is right where I want it to be. It seems interesting that across a several year time span this flower has held up incredibly well.
Growing operations can suffer from lights blowing out, or mildew, which means the flower quality deteriorates until those elements are addressed. Too many times I have seen a flower come out and be absolutely stunning on the first few drops, best in class, only a few months later to see it has completely lost all of its good essence and the effects are diminished. Looking at you BluePrint, and one of the goat flowers that quickly diminished, Triple Lindy. What happened there?
That’s another review for another time if I ever find some again. Please send me some.
Back to Shrimp Girl, when I break some down for the first bowl, I am reminded about how warm and inviting this flower can be, like an old friend who’s come to visit for a few days. On firing up said bong, I found the effects and sensation to be healing, calming, and nurturing in a time where I am experiencing very difficult tooth pain. Its buzz is euphoric, mild and sedating, but also sort of spiritual in some way, and uplifting in a way that I can’t describe. It soothes you, which a lot of weed claims to do but doesn’t. I guess you just have to try it to see what I’m talking about.
On the initial toke, I am immediately transported back to the first time my parents visited me while living here in Los Angeles, after the travel ban from the Pandemic stopped us from seeing each other for two years. On our final evening having dinner together, which we stupidly attempted to get to from way too far away, the heavy traffic became so demeaning that our spirits were quite dampened on arrival.
Jokingly, I had said that I had this Garlic Shrimp weed with me and they should try some, knowing they wouldn’t want any. But shockingly, my mother actually did opt for a rare toke outside the back of the restaurant, shielded by the cover of a dumpster, hoping not to be approached by the gavvers.
This may sound like a fairly routine thing to many of you, but for me it was a special bonding moment, where both of us shared our healing and need for calming, and stress relief, which is not something we always get to appreciate together. We felt a lot better afterwards.
I believe that it was the weed itself that made this possible, for some reason, I’m not sure why, but that’s just how I feel. It’s a talisman that is there to help you get through those moments when you need it the most.
So then, Garlic Shrimp Girl will always have a special place in my heart, and in my palate’s memory, and I suggest it should have one in yours too.
Look out for my next review coming soon.
Dr. StrainLove signing off.
Dr. StrainLove is a long time lover of fine weed and is always hunting for the latest and greatest strains. His search has taken him from the Coffeeshops of Amsterdam to the boutique dispensaries of California, and lots of other places in between. He loves making music, playing video games, and using marijuana to ponder the mysteries of the universe. When he’s not doing those things, he enjoys spending time with his cat.
